Sunday, September 8, 2013

A little sun

I think I'll go outside for a while. Maybe officiate some soccer games.
Oh, hello Sun. Lovely to see you.
Yes, I miss you in winter too. But it's months like these that keep the relationship strong, right?
Hah. Yes, I suppose gravity might be involved too.
It's quite warm out, don't you think?
Well no, yes, I realize it will be warmer later.
I think 95 degrees is the high? That's about 310.
No, I realize-
Well I couldn't-
Oh, really. 5,500 degrees at the surface. Hmm. Why I'd never heard that before.
Oh, fusion? Very impressive.
Yes.
No, I'm sorry. I'll try to refrain from sarcasm.
Well. I'm going to referee two soccer games.
I'm not sure. I think boys, then a girls game.
Me too. One trip, and it's pretty close, so it won't take too long.
I know. But the Earth's magnetic field protects me from that. Would be a bit hotter than 300 if we were getting hammered by all that, don't you think?
Yes, I know it penetrates the field.
Yes, and the atmosphere. I'm wearing sun screen too.
Well, I'm at the game. I'll talk to you later Sun.

(later)

Well Sun, that was fun. The wind was nice, or it'd have been quite hot.
Well, I am made of mostly water.
Di-hydrogen oxide.
Yes, quite low, on a relative scale. About 400 K.
Kelvin.
No, I'm using the metric system.
Kelvin IS metric.
Don't worry, it's a common misconception.
Planet? I'm on Earth. The third one.
Sometimes I forget too.
But do they even play soccer on Venus?
That many?
Who knew?
I need to get some gas. I'm going inside again.

(a little later)

Hey Sun, I got a look at my skin in the bathroom. I'm turning beet red.
It's a small, water bearing root vegetable.
We eat them. For nutrition. It's like...well, they help me stay alive.
It's the color you might be in a few billion years.
No I'm not calling you old. Just...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.
Ok. I didn't realize it bothered you.
Sounds good.
My point was, I'm in some pain.
Yes, I did wear protective oil. It should have kept the UV rays out of me.
In summer, maybe 300, give or take.
My temperature is close to 310 though.
I vent heat into the air, through my skin.
Yep. 310 in the air. The atmosphere.
It was pretty toasty.
What?
A few ways. At that temperature, mostly by excreting salty water through glands on our skin. The water evaporates, cooling us.
Umm...
I suppose it might wash off the sun screen.
Maybe an hour or two?

Balls.